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transformation by ~r-mitchell:iconr-mitchell:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Spiritual > Open


i breathe
a butterfly, i whisper
"carry me in you."

she clasps, between her palms,
seashells, she puts pebbles into

towers along the shore.
she turns to become
a wave, a leaping dolphin,

she sparkles
on the edge of invisible,

shape without burden.
in the firelit murmurs of
crickets and cicadas,

we breathe
willow trees and young rivers.
©2008-2009 ~r-mitchell
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Submitted: September 25, 2008
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Author's Comments

i think i feel liberated.
Daily Deviation, 2008-10-07

Daily Deviationtransformation by ~r-mitchell's imagery and emotional, sensual undertones are remarkable. I'm really fond of the flow and word choices. It strikes me as unique and understandable, while being amazing artwork via words. (Suggested by =yourpleasantdarkness and Featured by ^StJoan)

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Devious Comments

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Comments


*citizenfour:iconcitizenfour: Sep 25, 2008, 10:29:58 AM
fly

--
I once was Samurai. Now I'm just Bonsai.
~livingcomforteagle:iconlivingcomforteagle: Sep 25, 2008, 1:19:33 PM
this is ridiculously beautiful

--
dark pictures, thrones, the stones that pilgrims kiss,
poems that take a thousand years to die;
but ape the immortality of this
red label on a little butterfly.
-vladimir nabokov
~r-mitchell:iconr-mitchell: Sep 25, 2008, 2:47:17 PM
it makes me ridiculously happy that you think so :)
~Unaccompanied-me:iconUnaccompanied-me: Sep 25, 2008, 7:37:49 PM
It IS ridiculously beautiful.... very free and simple. It's so disconnected from all those things that make our lives hell...

--
I'm no expert, so take the above with a grain of salt.


~writeaway*PoetryPlease*The-Literati~The-Last-Stanza
~r-mitchell:iconr-mitchell: Sep 26, 2008, 2:04:01 AM
thank you. yeah, free and simple - i find that very hard to achieve in poetry, especially without sounding really tacky, so i'm glad this came across that way.
~ottersandsky:iconottersandsky: Sep 26, 2008, 3:45:19 PM
young rivers. that's a really lovely and simple image.

this is simple and free, fo sho. =p
*LNIN9:iconLNIN9: Sep 26, 2008, 4:33:58 PM
your close is wonderful....:)

--
In my nothing, you were everything, to me.
Trent Reznor
~Unaccompanied-me:iconUnaccompanied-me: Sep 26, 2008, 11:43:33 PM
Yeah, it so often ends up cliche and honestly generally lame. Not here though.

--
I'm no expert, so take the above with a grain of salt.


~writeaway*PoetryPlease*The-Literati~The-Last-Stanza
*YouInventedMe:iconYouInventedMe: Sep 27, 2008, 2:01:29 AM
she sparkles
on the edge of invisible,

shape without burden.

ohyesohyesohyes


xo!

--
I am a poetry admin for *DailyLitDeviations.

interested in collaborating?
writer, photographer, painter, whatever(er) -
I'll mix with words with anything you've got.
:bulletred: currently on collab hiatus
~Keraness:iconKeraness: Sep 27, 2008, 4:26:06 PM
I love firelit murmurs, shape without burden, and how you tied the end back to the beginning. :)
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